She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
