Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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