at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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