dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
