yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
