Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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