are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
