my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
