There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
