I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
