Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
