I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
