I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
