Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
