I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
