no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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