My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
