it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
