Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
