I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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