he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize