my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
wow bdsm is so cute
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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