I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
