So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
