lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
