This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
