the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I want to fling myself into the sun
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
