He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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