just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
