it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
