the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
