I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
