Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
