I bet he comes in French.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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