So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize