So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize