am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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