It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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