I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
