but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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