I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think a kid would responsible me up
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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