I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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