One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
