yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
