ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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