There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
