You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
