first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
