I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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