the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
