How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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