hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
