Plan B is the new Plan A
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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