Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
