Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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