This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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