It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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