This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
