I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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