Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
