Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up

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(716): View more from New York

he got a rim job in the basement.

(716): View more from New York

apparently i was the one who gave it to him.

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(563): View more from Iowa

I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.

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(815): View more from Illinois

My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance

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(972): View more from Texas

Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...

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(415): View more from California

turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!

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