Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
