Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
