new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
