I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
